failures and triumphs

it was one of those days...

i woke up and didn't take a shower
gym clothes and no makeup
i even forgot to put on deodorant....stinky girl am i
i had a ton of things to do but didn't write them down
i left the house feeling scattered and overwhelmed
i had one of those horrible choking episodes(you know where you cough really loud uncontrollably for like 15 minutes) happen to me in starbucks and no one even cared except bayley who told me to "chew mama"
mango smoothie was everywhere for whatever reason
i went to the grocery store and probably did 9 laps, incomplete list.  i still forgot some things...
and bayley yelled "i want candy" at least 800 times imitating the brat angelica from the show the rugrats
i let bayley watch too much tv
potty training isn't going as well as it was last week
the sink was full of dishes all day
i didn't call and reschedule my doctor appt because i felt guilty for not showing up and not calling yesterday
i started making dinner too late therefore we ate way late
bayley fell down the stairs
adam and i both had difficult days which resulted in frustration and disharmony
i cried while i was barbequing chicken
i didn't take one picture

and now that i thought all my problems were done, my computer is going bonkers and i can't upload my pictures...

but i'm not going to let that get in the way of listing my gratitudes for today, because bad things happen but how we chose to deal with them shows our true character

so tonight i realized while lying in bed waiting for bayley to go to sleep how lucky i am
and instead of feeling sorry for myself and thinking that my mom skills or communication skills were subpar i thanked God for shelter.  i was lying in a warm bed and so was my child and we ate a nutritious dinner and reconcilled our problems and i felt SO MUCH BETTER.  i can always strive for more, but if i don't appreciate what i have at this very second, i will never feel like i have enough or that i AM enough.  i have to accept myself right now, mistakes and all and hope that others will do the same.  if not, they must not be worth the time anyways. 

so now i'm starting to understand the whole "fail more, fail better" quote
if i fail more and can accept my failure, then it doesn't really matter what happened or didn't work because i feel okay and i can accept things the way they are and forgive and move on.

and i am so happy that my husband did ALL the dishes tonight and that i didn't run away when we had a disagreement, we are such an awesome couple. 

so now i am going to soak in a lavendar bath with a glass of red wine and relax for 20 minutes before i tuck myself into bed. 

i think my photos uploaded now...enjoy

























“There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them.”



-Tom Krause