Wednesday, August 31, 2011


Bayley likes to play with bugs
and a lot of times it's me who is scooping up the worm from the clayish dirt and placing it in a new spot, like in her hand or a pink toddler tupperware comtainer. yesterday as the movers packed every item in our house, i felt like that worm.
we are in the hands of a higher power and i like that
don't get me wrong, i had 7 panic attacks yesterday and drank 3 bloody marys at dinner

the unknown is freaking scary

but i know from experience that change always preceds growth

i have so many feelings going racing through my mind right now, but my exhaustion supercedes everything so that is a nice distraction.

so many times in my life i've felt like when something big happened, i was the only one who ever would experience such a thing and that no one else knew what i was going through.
now i know better
everyone on this planet is dealing with something "big" at one time or another and everyone is just doing thier best to cope with the "big" emotions and feeling that go along with it.
moves, births, illness, travels, graduations, losses, break ups, weddings
it's all just life. and there are always going to be the positives and negatives of all of it

so here i go

to me it's the biggest deal in the world, like it's gonna be on yahoo headlines tomorrow morning
"The Bernardi family moves to St. Louis Missouri!"

but i know better

last night in my hometown state

California you will be missed

lot's of love



I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
Steven Wright

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.” — Helen Keller

i always loved the light that shined in just so, illuminating the smudgy little hand prints on the window

Friday, August 19, 2011

a quote

“I have thought for a long time now that if, some day, the increasing efficiency for the technique of destruction finally causes our species to disappear from the earth, it will not be cruelty that will be responsible for our extinction and still less, of course, the indignation that cruelty awakens and the reprisals and vengeance that it brings upon itself…but the docility, the lack of responsibility of the modern man, his base subservient acceptance of every common decree. The horrors that we have seen, the still greater horrors we shall presently see, are not signs that rebels insubordinate, untamable men are increasing in number throughout the world, but rather that there is a constant increase in the number of obedient, docile men.”

—George Bernanos

Monday, August 15, 2011


i am in the process of organizing files on my computer...mostly pictures
like oh say 10,000 pictures
and let me start by saying that i am a schizophrenic digital picture hoarder.
who names files on thier computer things like "stuff" and "fun" with no dates??

i do

my brain hurts

here are some pretty photos








i went to blogher 2011 and it was so amazing!!

got to meet a blog friend, kelle. such a kind soul

had a fun date with my girl today and she picked out some fancy shoes


boy does she love her shoes

i had to pry her out of the nordstrom rack shoe department today

my girl is so outspoken these days

a mom said to her little girl "c'mon monkey" and bayley piped up and said in such a defending tone "she is not a monkey!"

these days are fun



19 days and we are on our way to st louis, missouri

i'm going to try to blog thru the craziness of it all, especially the roadtrip!!

2 suvs, a mom, a dad, a precocious 3 yr old and a cat that has anxiety in automobiles-----driving cross country

stay tuned as this southern california girl heads out to the midwest