Friday, December 31, 2010

christmas and all that crap

i wonder if shakespere made sure all his dishes were done before he sat down to write??

i'm finishing off the rest of the "electric reindeer" cabernet, trying to think of how i'm going to mash everything into this post. 

blogging for me is similar to laundry
i'm all caught up and everything is nice and put away into drawers and words...
and then i get all laxy-daisy
like
oh no everything is caught up
but then we are out for the day
and the next
and i make dinner
and a mess
and then there's no time for blogging or laundry
because i'm tired and i'm scraping off crusted dinner from pots
and picking up.......crap toys
and begging for sleep

and then it's like 3 weeks later and i'm in the weeds bad

thank goodness my mom performed miracles and did ALL of our laundry while she was visiting for christmas (like heaps in every room that could clothe several villages)
amen to that!!!  thank you thank you mom!!!

so in my efforts not to keep repeating this naughty pattern
i have been washing and folding
and now here i am

look at me : )

writing and picture-ing

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so today on our way to meet rachel and sophie at the library
bayley was talking like usual

"mom, is that junk food?
taco bells is junk food
i want a scarf
and i want to wear it like you
and it's gonna be pink
and you'll have an orange one
and daddy will have a blue one and it will be a big boy scarf"

and that was all strung together in one sentance without breaths
and then it was silent

and i just smile so big, because she is just so awesome

like whenever i give her any kind of treat (sugar)
she gets all lovey dovey and and hugs and kisses me like i am some mesiah

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and last night she dropped her binky on the floor and i picked it up and washed it and she said
 "did it have craps on it?"
"i love lobsters"
get it, like she doesn't know the difference between crap and crab hahahahah

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so here is our christmas

drumroll please

...fabulous...wonderful...simple...meaningful...crazy...
imperfect-perfection

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i love to celebrate
and i love all the apple cinnamon pinecone eggnog gingerbread latte things the season brings, and lights and parties where your toddler dropkicks the mechanical reindeer and it disassembles and crashes to the ground simultaneously, resembling some kind of jiu-jitsu act.

anyways, what i really love is just being with family and friends and laughing and loving it all and not taking anything too seriously.

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blog post title quoted from my dear grandma who i called on christmas eve
and the first words out of her mouth were "well merry christmas and all that crap"

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2010,

thank you for the most transformative year of my life
i will always remember you fondly

happy last day of the year, let's make it a good one!!!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

i like this

I just read this from
http://www.consistent-parenting-advice.com/how-to-discipline-children.html

and i really like it

now to implement some of it would be my next step




How to Discipline Children



by Being Clear, Firm, and Consistent






The beginning of how to discipline children starts at their birth.






The loving, respectful relationship that we grow with our children right from the start makes it possible for us to guide them toward positive behaviour.






It is about setting up trust and guiding our children toward being able to make good choices for themselves.






As our children develop a stronger sense of self we help them to learn the right way by matching our methods with their age and ability.






Experience has shown me that the answer to the question of how to discipline children is:






Children learn best by being given


clear firm and consistent direction


from parents who are clear, firm and consistent in their approach.






How to Discipline Children by Being CLEAR


Firstly find and maintain clarity within yourself, and then follow through on simple, clear instructions






Clarify for yourself what being clear means:


It is about being plain, obvious, and understandable in a clear, short sentence that explains exactly what you mean.


It isn't about maybe this or maybe that.






Often parents have no idea that they chop and change their minds within minutes. To become clear about your own patterns of behaviour, observe yourself and ask for your partner's help in this.






"We are going to tidy up your toys in five minutes", is clear and direct. Follow this with,


"Please help me tidy up your toys now" and it means just that.


Be firm with yourself about this. It doesn't mean soon, or later, but now.






I have seen parents give out this simple instruction, then become distracted themselves by a television programme, conversation or magazine, forgetting they have made this statement.






What their children observe is parents saying one thing and doing another and this gives a much distorted message. Multiplied over many times each day, is it any wonder that children cease to follow simple instructions?


How to Discipline Children by Being FIRM


Firstly find and maintain firmness for yourself and then follow through with firm clear directions in a firm, clear tone.


Clarify for yourself what being firm means:


To be firm is to be certain, definite, and determined. It is also being loving, kind and calm.


It means saying no and meaning no, or saying yes and meaning yes and sticking to it. It's about now being now.






How often does your no become perhaps, later, maybe giving in, next time, soon, or alright then? This is a very common fault in how to discipline children and again it leads to numerous mixed messages for children.






Resolve within yourself and with your partner's help to ascertain how often you are both easily swayed into changing your decisions.






Are you allowing your children to manipulate you? Imagine how simple your life will become when you are clear and firm within yourself.






It is every child's right to KNOW they can trust their parent's boundaries. So firstly, become firm with your own boundaries and then apply this to your parenting discipline.






"It is bedtime, (bath time, meal time) in five minutes" is a clear direction. Now follow through on this.






Giving the direction in a calm, clear, firm tone of voice helps your children to understand that you mean what you say.






Being firm is about being in control of both yourself and the situation.










How to Discipline Children by Being CONSISTENT


Firstly find and maintain consistency for yourself and then follow through with a firm, clear, consistent approach.


Clarify for yourself what being consistent means:


To be consistent is to be reliable, dependable and constant.


These words immediately convey comfort don't they?






Let's look at the opposite of being consistent.






Contradictory, unpredictable, changeable. That's definitely lacking in comfort and safety.






So how do you want to be seen by your children?










Do you want them to feel safe and sure and trusting of you?










Do you want them to think of you as reliable and true?










Do you want them to know they can trust your words, your actions and your tone of voice?






To begin with it can seem quite time consuming to concentrate on clear, firm, consistent guidelines. Be aware that this is very true. It takes concentrated effort and time to change old habits to new ones, but if you maintain consistency, you will be very surprised how quickly new patterns of behaviour are formed.






Firm, clear and CONSISTENT adherence to daily routines creates both sociable, happy children and calm, contented parents

Friday, December 24, 2010

very merry

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas. ~Peg Bracken

oh i couldn't agree more
bah humbug to all the rushing and craziness and overdoneness
tomorrow it's cookie baking, singing songs and movie watching




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I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. ~Charles Dickens

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

vacation

right now as my mind races and i fuel up on extra strong guatemalan coffee
i can hear a deep, raspy, has a hanging on cold, little voice downstairs.
she is singing jingle bells.
i stop thinking so much and worrying
and i remember what this time is all about and am so grateful for my little moppet
she is like my guru
gently bringing me back, reminding me that this moment is all we have and it is a grand one indeed
like...
"hey mom, can you make those wheels stop turning in your head for just a minute, cause i wanna go splash in puddles and find some worms outside"


you see, my mind didn't race at all while i was on vacation.


maybe because i was too busy having fun...

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my soul sister
maybe it's a good thing we don't live next door, because we would just stay up til 3am EVERY night talking about every possible awesome thing in the universe

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as you can see
my family is very good at having fun
it's hereditary

it was funny, right before i was leaving i was in trader joes.  i was talking to some guy about how long my smoked salmon would last and my vacation came up
he asked where i was going and i said salt lake city and san antonio
he said "well that doesn't sound like a vacation"
i smiled and thought in my head "well you don't know my family..."
because my vacation was better than a vacation
it was enriching, energizing and full of love
homemade dinners
laughter
late nights
comfy beds and old quilts
kid parks and bug exhibits
carmel corn
acorn scavenging
amazing restaurants
picturesque streets lined with multi-colored foliage
great musicians everywhere ( i want to learn how to play guitar)
and just a whole bunch of great down to earth people that i love so very much and am glad to be a part of.

thank you Dad, for all these fun times
i can't wait to come back to san antonio to see you and the children

and thank you Linsey and Lamar and the girls for letting us stay with you and make messes and break stuff
it was a blast!!!


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back in port hueneme now where the rain hasn't stopped in 6 days
let the christmas movie marathon begin!!!

what's your all time favorite Christmas movie???
i need some suggestions

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You will find meaning in life only if you create it.
It is not lying there somewhere behind the bushes,
so you can go and you search a little bit and find it.
It is not there like a rock that you will find.
It is a poetry to be composed,
it is a song to be sung,
it is a dance to be danced.

-Osho


stay tuned for a post about my wonderful husband...