stuffed

you know when you are having a crazy craving for a particular food and then when you finally eat the entire jalapeno pineapple pizza and you are so incredibly stuffed and your craving is long gone because you went ahead and indulged lavishly...

well, i think i will feel like that after this blog post, because i've been craving the feeling of putting together a nice long stream of pictures and words and have been putting it off far too long now.

we made bread, and although it took half the day it was so worth it!!!  the smell of fresh steaming bread is one of my favorite smells in the world.  slather it with butter and i'll eat the whole loaf!!






we took a trip down to san diego for my grandmas 85th birthday and stopped in the town of san juan capistrano on the way.  now that is a town i love!!  quaint shops, the beach, and tons of big shade trees.
and the best part was the huge petting zoo where there were hundreds of animals, especially bunnies.











lot's of beach trips have been happening and boy does she LOVE the beach.  sit her down with a bucket and a shovel and she's in heaven























by my standards, summer officially started on tuesday (when the marine layer finally burnt off and the temp rose above 72). 

it was the day bayley started her first swimming lessons. 
barbeques were sniffed.
seatbelts were hot.
old jeans turned into nice new cut offs.
fans were blowin'.
and you can just smell the summer air when you wake up.







the fourth in all it's glory











well that feels much better



bye bye for now

Bayley highlights

says "I see sumpin out da weendow"

doing the stairs all by herself

wants to do EVERYTHING all by herself

loves to turn on music and dance and jump on the bed

loves ice cream with sprinkles and m&ms

loves to read books

just started liking to watch movies

sings happy birthday to us several times a day

loves broccoli and barbeque chicken

says "i need dat" to everything

loves princesses and knows all their names

said to me yesterday "ah man, what da heck"

splashes in the bathtub with her legs and thinks it is so hilarious that she belly laughs til she turns purple

when she hears a baby or kid crying says to me "mommy i want to help her".  so sweet!

can almost sing the whole abc song

loves taylor swift

says "doonin" instead of "doing"

talks more than i've ever heard a 2 yr old talk, i think she thinks she's 5

big girl

introducing the big girl princess bed

tonight i squished into a toddler sized bed and put her to sleep.

she fell asleep shortly after asking for "a pickle mama??" and "a different bed?"

i stuck to my guns, she was fine

she is asleep in her big girl bed and i am happy.

it is at the foot of our bed for now since she is transitioning out of our bed.

oh how i love my Bayley and have enjoyed the two years of co-sleeping and snuggling,

but the snuggling has turned into a foot in the face and an almost black eye for mommy

and sleep is very precious to me

so....

i love cheap polyester disney princess bedding that can get my big girl to sleep in a bed of her own.

and i love Adam for spending 2 hours putting 500 small pieces of wood together to finally make a bed

"dada made a bed" Bayley says, and yes he did.

I love you Bayley, Mama is so proud of you!!!

Happy Birthday to you....

i am so glad you were born, oh how different my life would have been if not for you.  i know sometimes we want to rip each others heads off because of our differences, but i love you heart and soul and i hope all of your wishes come true today and always. 

Bayley Boo is TWO!!!

she's two

i can't believe it

i remember when my mom and i went to paris when i was 5 months pregnant.  our main mission was to buy cute little baby girl clothes.  oh how fun it was wondering down cobblestone streets eating chocolate croissants and going into every baby store we came across.  petit bateau was my favorite.  simple, pretty colors and all cotton.  we bought several items in a variety of sizes.  my mom told me to get some things in bigger sizes.  it didn't seem as fun, but we found a pair of pink striped pajamas in 2T.  those pajamas were transfered from closets to drawers and moved houses and the whole time i couldn't imagine her fitting into them.

they fit now

and now i can hardly picture her tiny little 5 and a half pound and how she fit so perfectly in just one arm of mine.  i miss the little bitty baby days, and i am fighting back the tears as i write, but i am happy.  so happy.  because even though i miss the baby days, it's so much more fun now.

we talk...
and have tea parties...
and go to starbucks...
and read together...
and watch movies...

and i remember bringing her home from the hospital 8 long days after she was born and being the most nervous wreck in the world.  i remember thinking "just let her get bigger so i don't have to worry about her this much."  funny, that never happened.  but i do have a huge confidence in her and along with some parental supervision this girl can do anything!!!  and soon she won't even need that supervision and i will write and cry even more then. 

i am grateful that tonight i get to snuggle up with my girl and know she is healthy, happy and loved.

and 2!!!!

Happy Birthday Bayley Boo, I love you so very much!!!
you are so smart, it's actually starting to scare me!!!  i am so lucky to be your mama.  you teach me more and more everyday and make me want to do better.  you have an amazing soul and can do anything you want to do in this world.  lots of hugs and kisses

love forever and ever,

Mama

you will always be my tiny dancer!!!

reset

i've been feeling so scattered...

like i have had so much going on in my brain that it's on overdrive and i would like to please press a reset button.

but no, i couldn't find one and i couldn't find an "easy " button that dumb staples commercial talks about either.

so i've just been keeping on auto pilot even though i really just want to say screw my to do list and obligations and go lay on the couch and eat a chocolate sheet cake and watch "you've got mail" followed by many episodes of "Dharma and Greg" whilst flipping through the magazines i haven't read.....ahhhh one day soon, because now that is also on my to do list. 

i stress out extremely easily and i really hate it, but that's just how i've always been.  yoga helps and so does acupuncture and i haven't done either in a while....add to to do list.

i wonder why i stress out so easily???

do you like broccoli???  i do, and i grew this!!!  can you believe it??!!  I am so proud!!!  Even though Adam didn't want to eat it cause the aphids kinda took over and colonized in it.  I say, extra protein and I'll take a bug (or 100) over a pesticide spray anyday!!  haha  he did take a bite and said it was good!!

I took Bayley to a dress up princess tea party and she was so cute!! 

she is changing faster than i can keep up with her, maybe thats partially why i haven't posted in a while.  i feel like i need to record every little detail of her existence because it is vanishing right before my eyes.  but i know that is not possible and i would rather just be with her than constantly "capturing the moment"  although that doesn't stop me from taking a whole bunch of pictures.  i would truly love to record every little thing we do, but we just have too much fun to be able to do that!!!

i made bayley this pink pillow case and  love it, no pattern!!!  (never used a pattern on anything though..haha)

and my beautiful friend rachel and her daughter sophie

i am so grateful to have met you

we are soul sisters : )

tomorrow we are going to san diego to see mom and grandma and auntie chara who is turning 30!!! 

 and to wish a wonderful friend good luck on his new adventures.

                                                        it should be a great weekend!!


p.s.
auto pilot works great for house cleaning. dishes and laundry caught up. check.
my creative pile...maybe next week after yoga

"IT COSTS SO much to be a full human being that there are very few who have

the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price. One has to abandon

altogether the search for security and reach out to the risk of living with

both arms open. One has to embrace the world like a lover. One has to accept

pain as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the

cost of knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to

total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying."

Morris West

this is so awesome

i've been...

fill in the blanks with any of the following :


-busy
-hanging out with family
-taking pictures
-overwhelmed

-feeding ducks

-thinking

-having hay fever

-having fun

-tired

-being a mom

-just being...

be back soon

love

abbey

simply beautiful

simply perfect

i love you bayley boo.  just enjoying you and loving you for being perfect just the way you are.

love always,
mama

Busy

Adam had elbow surgery and is recovering.  Bayley says with feeling "Dada boo boo, OUCH!!" Adam's Mom Cheryl has been here helping out and we've been having lots of fun and I've been kinda busy spending my nights finishing THIS!!!!  Yes, I know she is almost 2 now, but I will catch up.  So I have lots of pictures and words to post, but for now I need some sleep.
nighty night

Please Help!!!!!

PRINCESS PARTY FOR TERMINALLY ILL LITTLE GIRLS!!!!! CLICK HERE TO READ MORE!!!!!

CLICK HERE TO HELP NOW!!!!!!!
go to DONATE NOW and please designate PRINCESS PARTY




My cousin Linsey Anderson Holley (you can contact her on facebook) has decided to throw a big princess party for terminally ill little girls instead of a 30th birthday party for herself.  This gives me hope that this world isn't so bad and there is hope for our future and humane living beings.  She is planning and doing this all herself and did I mention that she has 4 amazing little girls of her own ages 2-8!!!  She is an angel and i just love her and her kind soul so much!!!  Please help if you can even if all you can do is send this link to some people you know. 
Thank you

"sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul" -edward abbey

good times

so we had this amazing easter in san diego and then left from there to go to utah.  and honestly i can't wrap my head around blogging about it all because i could seriously write a novel about all the little moments and amazing times we had. 

and although i really thought that i was going to finish this blog post, sew a small quilt, and re-organize my kitchen tonight oh and follow with a long luxurious bubble bath of course.  i will just do my best to finish this blog post. 



and maybe not be so tired so that i may read a few more pages in my new favorite book:
Above all, be kind by Zoe Weil  about raising a humane child in challenging times.  LOVE IT!!



**********************************************************************************

so here begins our adventure...

which began of course with a visit from the "eestah bunny"
oh how she loves that rabbit for bringing her more m&m's and jelly beans than she ever knew existed
i was excited to find a couple vintage children books and her basket from a local thrift store, all less than a dollar combined. 



we had easter brunch at la jolla cove. overlooking the water, drinking mimosas, and just enjoying every second of a picture perfect day.

















*******************************************************************************

utah has always been a magical place to me.
i'm not sure if there's something in the water or what, but it's just so refreshing everytime i go.
it probably has something to do with my Grandmother Simmonds, because she was magical.
and even though she isn't there greeting you when you walk up the stairs, her spirit is everywhere.

i stayed with my cousin linsey who lives where our grandparents used to live.  it was so nice to see the house being lived in the way grandma would want.


the room i always stayed in when i came to visit.  the white room.  tons of comfy pillows and a white bedspread.  in the summer time the windows would be open at night and i could hear the crickets and smell the sweet warm  breeze  coming through this window.  linsey's girls let bayley and i stay in thier room, it was so comforting.


the dining area where grandma would make you peaches and toast.  bayley got to enjoy many breakfasts with her cousins here.




the mandarin restaurant, the best chinese food in the world


we would put the kiddies to bed and stay up and induldge in a game of balderdash and x rated ice cream sundaes

pretty crazy huh!!

or sometimes we just talked until we couldn't keep our eyes open anymore


my cousins are so cool...
and i have like 55 more that are super cool too!!!






famous strawberry cheesecake pancakes....yummmmy


i just love this picture






just a few of the kids

we went to the living planet aquarium and we loved it





bayley got 3 fruit snacks stuck in her hair on the ride home.  my cousin corinne and i were talking away only to look back and see this.....oh i couldn't stop laughing, poor thing.






and an awesome trip to the park to see my awesome friend shauna and her little boy (more pics coming soon)






tension tamer tea....ahhhhh  no more coffee for this girl



a few pictures around the orchard, my grandparents house and land is being sold.....
if only we could work out our awesome co-op idea linsey!!!









just a fraction of the family





good times

good night