today we dropped bayley off at a new drop in daycare for the first time(i had to talk myself out of a panic attack) and as i expressed my upset with adam his oh so "adamlike" response was "it's only for an hour, they can't do too much damage" oh how i love his choice of words in these moments. at first it ticks me off but then it makes me laugh and lighten up. he gets me.
we started our new gentle yet firm "discipline" plan for bayley/us
we have so much going on, but some how this whole discipline thing has been hanging over my head like a dark cloud and eating away at me. i don't believe in punishments, but what i do believe in are consequences. life is one big set of consequences and if i can help my child learn how to deal with them then bring it on. i want to teach bayley that she is responsible for herself so she knows that she always has the power and choice in any given situation. i want her to take full responsibility for her actions and know that with any choice comes a consequence. i want her to feel empowered and know that her choices are amazing tools that can guide her to her dreams. that mistakes are forgiveable and we should learn from them, not hide them. i want her to know that she can accomplish anything she wants in life. i want her to have self discipline, self confidence and control over her emotions.
the funny thing is that this whole teaching her right from wrong is just as much about teaching myself right from wrong. i'm disciplining myself just as much as i am disciplining her. i might not dump cat food all over the floor or kick and scream over a cookie not had (well actually....) but i have just as much learning to do as she does. and i can say that it's extremely humbling, difficult and amazing all at the same time.
"I knew from feelings that I had to do something. And I did it. And I did it well. I did what made me feel better tomorrow even though it was very, very painful at the time. The result was beneficial. Doing those things today that feel good tomorrow."
~Thomas D. Willhite~