Today I had to go to the dentist and get 2 cavities filled.  I took Lyla and set her right next to me.  I set her there so I could comfort her in case she got upset.  I reached down to give her the binky and she grasped my hand with her tiny fingers.  She didn't let go, and when I tensed up as the dentist drilled she squeezed my hand tighter.  She knew.  She comforted me, she held my hand.  She is a little angel.  She is sleeping next to me right now.  I just can't get enough of her chubby little legs and big toothless grin that just lights up the world.  Her hair is sprouting and her eyes are getting a bit darker.  She laughs when daddy bounces her and she can't stop smiling when she sees Bayley.  Bayley is amazing with her, she talks like a little mommy to her and is such a huge help to me.  The other day I told Bayley something was farther than Timbuktu and she asked me where timbuk-one was.  Tonight she put on some pretty snazzy clothes and told me she was going to a party with her stuffed animals.  
Honestly, I am exhausted.  My hormones are crazy and I have a little post partum depression.  But these days are so very precious to me.  They are amazing and tough and exactly what I've always wanted.   I know that we are only guaranteed this present moment and it means more what we do right now than any big future plans do.  So I try to let things go and just love.  Love what I have right now, which is a whole lot.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
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