Wednesday, October 24, 2012

She held my hand

Today I had to go to the dentist and get 2 cavities filled. I took Lyla and set her right next to me. I set her there so I could comfort her in case she got upset. I reached down to give her the binky and she grasped my hand with her tiny fingers. She didn't let go, and when I tensed up as the dentist drilled she squeezed my hand tighter. She knew. She comforted me, she held my hand. She is a little angel. She is sleeping next to me right now. I just can't get enough of her chubby little legs and big toothless grin that just lights up the world. Her hair is sprouting and her eyes are getting a bit darker. She laughs when daddy bounces her and she can't stop smiling when she sees Bayley. Bayley is amazing with her, she talks like a little mommy to her and is such a huge help to me. The other day I told Bayley something was farther than Timbuktu and she asked me where timbuk-one was. Tonight she put on some pretty snazzy clothes and told me she was going to a party with her stuffed animals.
Honestly, I am exhausted. My hormones are crazy and I have a little post partum depression. But these days are so very precious to me. They are amazing and tough and exactly what I've always wanted. I know that we are only guaranteed this present moment and it means more what we do right now than any big future plans do. So I try to let things go and just love. Love what I have right now, which is a whole lot.

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