this morning bayley woke up at 4:35. strangely, i felt quite rested and alert.
she was hungry and wide awake, talking, singing, bringing her daddy her toy cars in bed.
i waded through the kitchen as i searched for snacks
i glanced at all the dishes i had left from the day before and felt guilty.
"i should do these now" i thought, so she ate and i rinsed and loaded the dishwasher and we made the best of the still, dark morning. About 5:30 rolled around and she started acting nutty. i knew it was time to go back to bed. Yes!!! i felt like i hit a wall and needed more sleep.
but then the cat puked all over and i had to clean that up...
...loving that method brand disenfectant spray(green spray bottle at target)
I refilled bayley's warm honey milk, tucked her in our bed (because she still comes in in the morning and i like it like that ) and felt that super relaxed, actually sleepy, comfy feeling i only feel maybe 4 times a year.
she talked for a while, wrestled with her pillow and tried to get comfortable.
the cat puked again and i fell asleep.
we woke up at 9am. i was still tired.
i cleaned up the cat puke and got breakfast for bayley.
off to my counseling appointment i went and was late because there was extra security on base and then there was an extra i.d check and i couldn't find my i.d. because i threw it in my purse and it happened to fall into the middle of my l.a. parent magazine.
the lady said they were suppossed to detain me if i didn't have my i.d.
i asked how long i could be detained for and was wondering if i could read a book too...?
some moments i really would like to be forced to sit alone for an alotted period of time with nothing to do...
what mother wouldn't, right?
the day plodded on
i came home later than expected and sensed adam was irritated
he watched bayley and then had to leave and work for 10 hours
i hope he got to eat his salad in peace and fly his remote control helicopter (i do think it's pretty cool and bayley loves it )
lunch consisted of a deli chicken, french bread and salad fixin's
usually when i make lunch i tear the whole kitchen up, boiling and frying, using all the burners on the stove
but today i needed simple, so the $6.95 rotisserie chicken was worth it's weight in "not so many dishes to do cause i'm feeling overwhelmed" and it was super tasty too.
so we had to run errands and i never plan them.
i just leave the house, hopefully with some baby wipes and diapers in the back seat
and wing it, not really knowing exactly where i'm going or what i'm planning on accomplishing
crazy right?
it usually ends with me not finishishing what i hadn't planned in the first place and a very cranky child who starts acting like she's on some kind of methamphedamines.
tonight wasn't much different
except i embraced it all...
we started driving to the mall, bayley fell asleep and i called my friend rachel back and we discussed toddler illness as i sat in the target parking lot with the car running.
40 minutes later i realized i was on empty and i needed her to wake up, rachels phone died and i turned off the car.
i went into the mall expecting to pay my victorias secret bill and get paper plates at target, but i was distacted by baby gap and the oh so social homosexual sales clerk.
he got me so excited to come back in a week to see the new spring collection and i almost bought bayley a pair of "ultra" skinny jeans for $30.
after my gap time warp wore off we went to the candy store and then rode the kiddie carousel
i felt guilty for all the time i wasted and had to induldge her
but then my shopping addiction came back and we headed into h&m
i left with a vintage blue and white flowered button down blouse and bright yellow leggings
the perfect new outfit for my girl that would photograph wonderfully.
we headed over to target where i browsed the aisles like i had all the time in the world
discussing with a fellow mom cleaning products (hello irony) and telling our toddlers to please not play with all the bottles because they have chemicals in them.
we left after bayley said "i'm really hungry mom" and i realized it was 6 oclock and dark outside
damn those indoor malls and the baby gap sales clerk
oh and my poor restraint
it was too late to go home and cook dinner so we headed to sharkeys and i got her a side of yams (her new favorite and mine too)
i got a side salad next door and we shared
bayley introduced me to the young lady in the booth next to us by throwing a napkin at her head and saying "she wants this"
the lady was so kind and thanked bayley for the napkin, wiping her face with the dirty thing just to appease my girl.
bayley smiled.
she used to be a preschool teacher and is now a nanny
she is also going to ba a candidate for bayley's new babysitter because she also babysits occasionally on weekends and bayley LOVED her!! halleleuja!!
we finished dinner with a mini cone of candy cane gelato and headed over to kohls
i had a thought to buy her some pjs and then i could finish my errands and if she fell asleep, great
i bought her a royal blue batman lego top and dinosaur bottoms on the clearance rack for a grand total of $4
bayley asked if they were for big boys and i said anyone could wear batman and dinosaurs
i dressed her and had no guilty feelings about not giving her a bath because last night i read about the rash she had and it said to keep bathing to 3 times a week maximum.
we went to trader joes, i love them for thier samples the most i think
she got her cookie and i got to shop, once again in some kind of grocery heaven trance
finally the cookie was gone and my phones battery died so there was no more rugrats episode 13 for her to enjoy.
time was up
i put the bag of argentinian shrimp in the cart and darted to the checkout
the checker loved her mismatched "boyish" pajamas and wanted a pair for herself, i believed her
they are super cool
we left and i just knew she would fall asleep on the way home, she always does
and it was 9pm, way late and i bought her pjs just so i could let her sleep without disrupting her when we got home
wide awake as we pull onto our street
"we're home" she squeals happily
i am way too tired for our usual bedtime routine
i tell her she gets to fall asleep on the couch tonight while she watches a movie and she's excited.
i start putting away groceries and picking up toys.
she watches the entire movie "up" and gets 1/3 the way through snow white and just couldn't fall asleep
it's 11pm
i feel so bad for letting her stay up so late and ask her if she is ready to go to bed
she says yes, which has never happened
i lay her in her bed, cover her and get her another cup of milk
she is asleep within seconds...
many of our days are predictable...
breakfast, cartoons, play, nap, maybe an outing, dinner and then our bedtime routine
but sometimes i need more, i need something different and maybe she does too i'm not sure
all i know is that i always feel so guilty for upsetting the "norm" the usual happenings and regular things society tells us is right
and tonight after embracing the random evening of mismatched pjs and a way too late bedtime
i realized that its nice to do someting different, even if it doesn't seem "right"
ya i should have been keeping up on laundry and mopping (ugh, mopping should be illegal)
and putting my child to bed at 7:45, and cleaning my oven and planning meals and life...
but sometimes you just have to let life plan itself, and it makes for a much more interesting story.
