30 and loving life

so i'm 30 and guess what, i didn't turn to stone or figure out life yet.  so i shall get on with things.

i love life.
i love it so much that i sometimes forget to eat or sleep or go pee.  i do realize that all of these things are part of life, but there are also so many other things that scream life even more and then i forget the basics.  like a lot of times i will be utterly starving, but for some reason nothing sounds good to me except (fill in the blank with some sort of extravagent food like king crab or country pate) so i go out of my way to get such food and starving for just a while longer.  most people would probably make a sandwich.  i love so many things about life that it's really hard for me to narrow things down, but as i get older and smarter and cuter and all around better (hehe) i'm starting to narrow things down.  i'm trying to figure out what i really love and what REALLY gets me going. 

so lets make a list, because i LOVE lists

ballerinas, especially when one is Bayley








going out for breakfast and the color yellow


the ocean
sunsets
sushi
horseradish
dirty martinis


nature and all beauty it entails


bonfires
marshmallows


music


smiling
champagne
celebrations


candles
experimenting with photography
jelly jars
dimples


the color orange
cats


curly hair


great friends
















babies


amazing family
connecting









kisses



yummy treats
snuggling




life is an amazing gift and i'm gonna devour every last drop





"Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human." 

 -anthony robbins

in a nutshell

i am not allowed to drink caffinated beverages anymore, they make me feel like a drugged up person with severe ADD.

clean up on aisle 4 of the grocery store and our staircase because my child now likes to get my attention by chucking her juice everywhere.

the library is quiet and there are nice people there

home made mac n cheese is so yummy with diced up ham mixed in

it's asparagas season, get the big fat ones and drench them in butter, lemon and salt and peppa

i have fancy french truffles from my amazing friend chara



i'm having a campout bonfire for my birthday on thursday

tonight after putting bayley to bed, i ran to target and finished getting easter basket stuff and these



yep, tomorrow is her first ballet class and i'm so excited (probably more than she is)

homemade tomatillo salsa is one of my favorite foods

tomatillo salsa:

tomatillos (raw)
onion
garlic
cilantro
vinegar
olive oil
jalapeno
salt and pepper

blend in food processor til smooth

YUMMMMM
we put it on chicken tostadas
you can also mix it with ranch for a really yummy salad dressing

i love bayley's easter bunny, he's so cute



since adam has been home in the evenings  we have been having our nightly "tickle monster" ritual. where we all hide under the covers and wait for the tickle monster (adam) to get us.  bayley LOVES this game and really believes there is a tickle monster (or she is a dang good actor)







i am almost and super excited.

i am excited to go to bed and wake up to my new peets decaf coffee and entenmanns raspberry swirl danish.

oh also the meyer countertop spray in basil scent is amazing and i'm contemplating using it as perfume, i am loving wiping down my surfaces.



Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach

sunday night ritual

when i was in high school, sunday nights were kind of fun. i watched seventh heaven and ate mint chocolate chip ice cream.  it meant getting ready for the new week and it seemed like i usually had a new shirt or earrings from weekend shopping to get me excited for monday.  clean cotton sheets on the bed, clothes washed and laid out, instant oatmeal set in a bowl with a spoon.  i had a plan man.  it usually all went to hell by wednesday, but sunday night...i felt ready. 

tonight i tried to re-create this ritual.  let me tell you that it's a bit more complicated now.  because i have more responsiblilties than laying out my gym clothes and new earrings.  but i'm really working on this whole "planning" things better.  in learning about myself i have realized that i may not be a planner by nature, but i need to be one.  almost anytime i feel confident or have a success i had made a plan.  i can't tell you how many times i have kicked myself because i put off planning something important.  so i'm trying to look ahead, not too far.  just enough to encourage and inspire this crazy and spontaneous girl.

so it's funny, because for a while i've been trying to plan in my head what i want to do before i turn 30, like i might turn into a stone or just forget who i am once i hit the big 3 0.  and since i turn 30 in 4 days i think i may need to modify my plans a bit.  i don't think i will be going to india or getting a book published or going here for groceries and then having a fabulous dinner party, but i can start planning some of these big things and put them out into the universe.  because that is how every big, huge, tiny, any-thing begins.  with intent.  a plan.  and then small action steps everyday to lead us to a goal. 
well i'd better go lay out my new earrings for tomorrow.
it's a big week ahead!!

this weekend =

what is the meaning of life?

whatever you want it to be.

-james frey

i feel your pain bro

tonight, i drove 12.8 miles to a little blue house and sat in a pretty back yard and listened to people talk.
it was an NVC group and i feel very energized by this kind of communication
here is the link  http://www.cnvc.org/ if you wish to learn more.
tonight i listened more than i spoke which was hard for me.
it was great fun.  it was transforming.  i learned a lot about myself.  mostly, that listening is a wonderful tool.
and the other thing i realized, is that i really love to talk and share.  I talk a lot, i have lots to share. and the good thing is that this blog can be a great outlet for that.  i can "talk" and share and people don't have to read it or people can.  it's still scary for me, putting my feelings out there, i'm just not so in touch with them and i think anything unknown breeds fear.  so i am learning about my feelings and it's fun and challenging.

i also learned the difference between these two nouns empathy and sympathy

empathy(noun):  The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

sympathy(noun):  Feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.

non violent communication (NVC) practices empathy.  we practiced it tonight and it felt foreign to me which made me sad yet hopeful because i am now aware and trying.

i don't know if it was from a movie or what, but talking about empathy and really learning it's definition made me think of a guy; sitting, intently listening, with longish sun bleached hair, maybe smoking a joint, nodding, smiling and squinty eyed, saying slowly and meaningfully "i feel your pain bro"  i bet you he "gets" what empathy is.

i'm gonna try to feel more and think less

goodness

funny, i didn't think i had many pictures to post tonight, but i do and i love them all.  they are real and beautiful and they string together wonderfully balanced, each one supporting another.



lately we have been :   bug hunting, going for walks, drinking tea, eating lots of snacks, relaxing and enjoying ourselves.








bayleys favorite thing to do is go look for bugs, this is the bug playground she loves so much




















everyone should be required to own and use lavendar essential oil, it's magical.  i dare you to inhale the scent and try not to be calm and smile.






after a day feeling like my mind was so jumbled that nothing could untangle it, it is nice to reflect on the goodness of life and realize what really matters.  it's so much simpler than it seems.

goodnight to all, may everyone find the goodness